CRIT POST GOES HERE.

You know the drill, babies. ♥

PROFILE

character; Yamanaka Ino
series; Naruto
player; britt
email; chasingastarlight@gmail.com
canon; Chapter 450
arrival; January 23, 2009
residence; Building 3, apartment 23-24 aka Casa de Ninja

( MOAR )

So my box thingy is gone now. And unless Shikamaru actually grew some balls and decided to push the button, that means all this stuff is over with, right?

Anyway! Since my favorite group of little boys finally grew a big new house all to themselves, I decided to do something a little special for them, since they're all grown up now. Consider it a housewarming gift, guys.

Drum roll please!

( [ old school board games! | not icly cut ] )

Now you guys can have fun like one big happy family. Isn't that adorable? Speaking of which, prepare your cheeks, Leon.

Oh! How did your little chat go, Sakura, Yuri?

You know, there's really something to be said about having a slave--husband, whatever--around to do your bidding. And unlike Shikamaru, he's actually useful. No cooking, no cleaning... just the right kind of life for a goddess like me.

Mm, yeah, married life really suits me, I think.

Hey, Mr. Yamanaka! Where are you?

He wasn't even that hard to catch, you know. But then again, I don't think he was trying very hard. Can't really blame him, right?

Yuriiiiii! Get over here and hold my toes apart while I paint my nails!

What do you guys think, hm? Meet Me for Drinks or Chick Flick Cherry?

So like, everyone's still here?





Awesome!

Line starts over there. I don't have to repeat the rules, do I?


[[ooc; ...It's still 9:30 here what are you talking about. Just... THIS WHOLE ENTRY IS BACKDATED. Pretend it was, like, posted at... you know. A normal time. And go crazy. ONE LAST FOURTH WALL HURRAH? ;;]]

So it turns out I have to tell the truth and stuff today.

Crap. I didn't mean to say that. See, I just knew today was going to be a bad day from the moment I woke up. I mean, the truth is really nice and noble and all, and trust me, I like telling the truth to people who totally deserve it, but I am a ninja. We have to lie sometimes.

Okay, a lot.

Which I didn't mean to say either, because hello, trade secrets.

Maybe I need a new topic. Like the girl I saw earlier who looked like a cow in the dress she was wearing. Or Shikamaru, who I tried to kick out of the apartment a few days ago but I let him back in because like, he's my teammate and I can't stay mad at him for very long. Or how I miss Chouji and my dad. Or how it's been almost a month and a half since Tybalt left, and even with all these cute guys I know, like Yuri and Setsuna, I still can't bring myself to a rebound.

God, I need a rebound.

And to like, shut up. And stuff.

( [ private | unhackable ] )

So many orders of business lately! How's a girl ever supposed to keep up?

I'm not sure what happened with the whole... not having a heart thing or whatever, but obviously, I have it back again and stuff, so no need to worry your pretty little heads about it. I'm sure Axel can explain heartlessness, right, Axel? Since you have experience and all.

Maybe you can explain how you lost our bet too, hm?

Also, sorry about postponing our date, Setsuna, but my teammate was trying to eat me yesterday and I had to kick him out. More like tried to nibble me, actually, and I normally would've thought he'd mistaken me for another blonde love of his life, but then I realized that yeah, he would be the laziest, most mysogynistic cannibal ever.

Who expects me to get in the kitchen and cook my own arm for him. Jerk.

So! Are you ready to go? Friday night is much better for drinking, anyway.

[ A nice, long pause. ]

I was planning on posting today, after I got back from the garden.

[ ANOTHER LONG PAUSE. ]

I need a favor. If you see this man, please let me know if he ever uses his catchphrase, "Got it memorized?" or any variations thereof. We have a bet.

Thank you.


[[ooc; Had her heart stolen by Rue! Hence the... yeah. This post was harder to write than I thought it'd be. :C]]

( [ private | unhackable ] )

( [ private to shikamaru | unhackable ] )

...You know, I'm just going to ignore everybody suddenly dueling to the death over some weird game with way too many boxes and a depressing color scheme, because today is a very special day, you know.

It's my birthday!

I know, I know, I didn't tell anybody. It's just like, the past week has been so busy and all kinds of complicated and the girl who was totally supposed to tell you all--my bff Sakura--like, had a mind wipe or something, so that left everything pretty much in my hands.

Well, whatever. I'll give you guys about... oh, 12 hours to wish me happy birthday and find a present for me. It's only fair, right?

And while you're at it, wish Shikamaru a very happy belated birthday too. And if you see his pineapple head skulking around or something, give him a big birthday hug. I'm sure he'll loooooove it. ♥

...You know, someone could start with teaching me this game. It looks way less complicated than shougi. And therefore better.

( [ private | hackable ] )

Looks like--looks like my sweet peas are in bloom. A little off-season, but this place doesn't really have seasons, does it? I think I can expect all my flowers to grow when they want to.



They mean goodbye in the language of flowers. Pretty sad, hm?


This sounds like kind of a random question, but what's the longest someone's been gone from here and still come back with all their memories? Does anybody know?

( [ private | unhackable ] )

Okay, that's it.

Whatever's going on here, curse or jutsu or whatever, it can stop now. I mean, I tried to do the release, I waited for midnight, blah blah blah, and I still didn't get my body back. I really needed to pee, you know, and DO YOU KNOW HOW WEIRD IT IS STANDING UP TO DO THAT. I wanted it to be over so I could get my nice, girly body back, but noooooo.

I'M STUCK AS A MAN. I'M STUCK AS YURI.

Ugh. I miss my boobs.

Worse than that, I'm learning things about you I never wanted to know, Yuri.


[[ooc; IT'S STILL BEFORE 2 PM HERE. B|]]

[ The device is slammed down with a loud SMACK. ]

Crap, I can't fit into my jeans anymore! They're too--I can't even button them up!

Oh my god oh my god--

[ A stretch of silence as she very obviously scrambles around, then pauses. Even though she's far away from the communicator now, you can hear her very clearly SCREAM. ]

I GAINED SEVEN POUNDS. SEVEN. POUNDS.

God, I hate him! I hate him and his stupid pudding and normal girls and now I'm fat and I can't even kick his lazy ass for it!

...I'm fat.

( [ private | unhackable ] )

( [ private to tybalt | unhackable ] )

ALRIGHT, PEOPLE, LISTEN UP.

You see, I have a friend. A male friend, ostensibly, but we're not going to go into that.

Anyway, this maleish friend of mine is convinced that I'M A SKELETON kLAJSKLDFfffff fat girls are pretty in their own fat way or something, so I thought that since he's supposed to be a genius and all, maybe he would like some hard data. Shut up, Naruto.

So here's how you all can help me out. Just tell me which you would prefer:

a.) a SKINNY girl, WHO IS NOT A TWIG OR ANY OTHER UNSEXY NOUN, who looks like a twig, or
b.) a FAT NORMAL girl, who probably has bad skin or something too. who looks like... a normal girl.

...And only girlsexual people, please. I don't care if you're male or female or neither or both, but at least be attracted to women.

Thank you~!


[[ooc; See here if you like a little context with your crack. 8) ETA: Entry hacked and options changed by Shikamaru. 8(]]

Ugh I can't even--













Crap.


[[ooc; You guys. ;; /touches]]

[ Posted to Shikamaru's (closed) office door: ]

CLOUD WATCHING AND NAIL PAINTING TIME. DO NOT DISTURB UNLESS IT'S DEFCON-5. (EVEN THEN, IT BETTER BE GOOD.)

THANK YOU.

-YI & NS

-----

from: ~Yamanaka Ino~ <yamanaka.i@konoha.com>
to: all Konoha, Inc. employees <konohainc.list@konoha.com>
subject: Mandatory Sexual Harassment Awareness Meeting

Meeting today at 4 p.m. in the conference room, because you all can't keep your hands to yourself. And yes, Naruto, it's MANDATORY. Which means I have to chase you down if you don't show up, and I'm wearing new Manolos today. The blisters hurt like a bitch, but I swear to god, the heels hurt worse. In your face.

And next time, complainers who shall remain nameless? Please don't ruin this for the rest of us. Don't complain.

Yamanaka Ino
Executive Assistant
Konoha, Inc.

P.S. You all don't believe me, but I'm going to prove that Shikamaru is gay. Just you wait.


[[ooc; brb guys. Will get to tags in about an hour. 8( YOU BETTER APPRECIATE THIS, SOO. Back! And I accept all forms of communication here, e-mail, im, action, text, phone call, post-it, memo, GO WILD. :>]]

( [ private | unhackable ] )

This place again, huh? It feels like it's been forever.

Convenient, right?

...I wonder, how many of my favorite people are still hanging around here, hm?


[[ooc; AGED UP FOR THE WEEKEND. Slut kunoichi and her sexecutions is a go. Just pretend she looks older. But not much wiser. 8)]]

[ This is the sound of a girl fight. ...Or is it? You can probably hear a few shrieks, laughs, some water splashing, fabric tearing, and if hair pulling had a sound, you'd probably hear that too. ]

God, Forehead, did you have to mess up my hair?

And you said I don't know how to have fun, Pig. Look at you, all wet.

[ A scoff. ] Don't get all smug yet. It's my turn to get you all wet.

[ Ino drops the communicator-- magically, it switches to video, just in time to catch her tackling Sakura to the floor, both of them completely drenched and IF YOU SEE SOME NIP, JUST REMEMBER INO IS JAILBAIT. Then Sakura kicks the device, and that's all she wrote. ]

...So, that's a little weird. It's like, everybody decided to go out at once--

This is one of those days, isn't it? Guess I better put up the rules again!

I like you guys, really, but.

1.) No being creepy, thank you very much. Or crazy. Or chatty. As in, I don't need to know anything about you at all.
2.) Except you can feel free to go on and on about how awesome I am. Really, that part's okay.
and 3.) ...I forgot number three. But I'm sure it was something important.

Oh, right. PERSONAL BUBBLE. Know it, okay? That's kind of related to being creepy, though.

Hello, everyone!


[[ooc; I'm going to be all busy tomorrow, so this is going up now. ;; I WILL GET ALL TAGS, I PROMISE.]]

Well, that was fun.

Was I like, the only person here who actually liked having their dad around? I haven't seen Daddy in a long time, you know, and it was nice. Really nice. I got to show him how well I made over the apartment, how I'm keeping up with my ikebana, I was going to introduce him tojfkdasljk, all the flowers blooming in my garden...

Speaking of which! The sunflowers have started blooming! They're about as tall as I am now, and the flowers are still a little small, but they'll get a lot bigger as the plant keeps growing.



Ta-da!

I'm seriously glad for the greenhouse, because snow would've definitely messed with all my flowers. You know, as if it wasn't bad enough that it's messing with my hair. And my boots. They're all suede, you know, and I refuse to wear ugly galoshes.

Hmph.

God, Daddy, why aren't you here today, when I need you?

You know, I really think married life suits me so well. My hair has never looked shinier.

Oh, Shi~ka~ma~ru~

I've been thinking. Let's reenact our honeymoon~ ♥

ETA [about an hour later]:

So he thinks he can do this to me, huh? He thinks he can run out on me! His wife, the mother of his pineapple-headed spawn! God, I swear, if the baby gets his stupid hair, I will be pissed.

He doesn't deserve me. He doesn't deserve my great rack and nice ass and--ugh, god, I hate him! I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM AND HIS LAZY ASS AND HIS STUPID CLOUD-WATCHING AND--

AND HIS TINY DICK. LIKE HE COULD EVER SATISFY ME. HMPH. I WAS FAKING HALF THE TIME ANYWAY, SINCE HE'S TOO LAZY TO ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING IN BED.

This is so not over.


[[ooc; God help me. Family Day makes her think she's married to Shikamaru. 8( The rant is coming later. There it is!]]